Monday, November 28
jeans & Cardigan: gap; booties: aldo; top: goodwill
Guess what I did this weekend... Nothing. Well not entirely nothing, I mean I did something, but in the grand scheme of doing something versus nothing. I basically did nothing. SSF and I (with the exception of a planned family gathering and hair appointment) just did whatever we felt like this weekend... and it felt great. It was the first time in awhile that I didn't feel bogged down by school, work, wedding planning, etc.
All in all, it was refreshing. I took some time to reflect on things, clean out my closet (literally), and just spend some quality time with SSF that didn't involve me sitting on the couch with my laptop while he watched TV.
On a totally unrelated note, I've been having the best luck at goodwill the last couple times I've gone. I found this amazing polka dot top a couple weeks ago and over the weekend I scored some other seriously excellent goodies I can't wait to share.
How was your Thanksgiving weekend?
Ps. this last picture was too sexy not to share.
You can thank the wind for that work of art. :)
Monday, November 21
There is something I need to talk about, quasi out loud, while I have your ear. I hope you don't mind.
To say I have confidence problems is an understatement.
I have major confidence problems.
They manifest in various ways. At school I don't feel "smart" enough, at work I don't feel "experienced" enough, in front of people I don't know very well I don't feel "cool" enough, in front of my mirror I don't feel "pretty" enough, and on my blog I don't feel clever enough. I am one of those girls that doesn't talk about my blog, even though I love it, because I'm afraid that people will judge me by it.
I have my good days and bad days.The last week or so has been bad. SSF and I even had a bit of a blowout over it. That's bad. I should have seen the signs though. Over the years I've noticed that when insecurities take over I start an unending quest for something to make me feel better (read: clothes, shoes, etc). I have been on a mission the last few weeks to find that thing that will patch my self esteem long enough. I've spent countless hours in the past weeks shopping online for something, anything. Luckily, it appears I have developed some willpower and self-control over the last few years that has kept me from going over the edge.
That fight with SSF, I think that was the tipping point.
Something has got to change. The one place I do feel in control is at the gym. It's there that I feel strong, powerful, capable of anything, and, for a lack of better words, sexy. I want to feel like that, all the time. I don't want to fidget with my clothes, I don't want to feel uncomfortable in my own skin, I don't want to waste my life on "what ifs".
Last night before I fell asleep I was trying to figure out where to start. I've decided it's with my closet. There is a whole mess of a lot going on in there. Clothes that fit, some that don't. Clothes that are so totally "me", and others that appear to be in the wrong closet. Sounds kind of superficial but I think a serious cleaning of my closet and weeding out of those clothes that aren't exactly me, will help me figure out exactly who I am.
Let the games begin.
Monday, November 7
top: thirfted, cardigan: old navy, riding pants: c/o lands end canvas; boots: aldo
I seem to have come down with a really bad case of "omgwhycan'tgradschooljustbeoveralready". More commonly known as senioritis. I'm just ready to move on, you know? Unfortunately there are about four more papers that separate me and graduation.
Luckily, I have little things like $4 dollar shirts to keep me going.
I promise things will return to normal shortly. I have had lots of things on my mind lately that I am dying to share with you all. Financial stuff, future stuff, and even wedding stuff (SSF and I finally saw our venue up close and personal-- was it worth the splurge? OH HELL YES)
Just bear with me a few weeks. k?